What About Me ?
This is a question we are all asking …
It doesn’t matter how much money we have, how wonderful our families are, how thriving our careers are … we are all still asking the same question that we did in kindergarten … what about me?
And so we should.
We are far too often taught to push that part of us down, calling it selfish, immature and arrogant. We have been told that it is the reason why the world has turned upside down, that it is the gateway to narcissism terrorizing the righteous, and widening the gap between good and evil.
This is the polar opposite of what will bring us healing, hope and happiness.
We are supposed to be concerned about ourselves,
focused on where we fit in and how we are getting what we want and need
When we are in a state of wondering what about me, we are striving to gain value in this life we are supposed to be trying to fulfill. We were meant to be here fully for our own benefit.
Where this gets misinterpreted is when we see others stealing from selfish survival (BLOG LINK) and we think that that is evidence that we are supposed to be pushing our internal self down, killing the ego, and forfeiting our own right to life.
I argue that this is where we get it all wrong.
That in fact, those of us that do die to self for righteous altruism, are the ones that are the greatest thieves in the end.
When we ask ourselves, “What about me?”,
we are actually giving our inner self a voice, we are meeting our own needs, we are managing our own investments, we are sustaining our ecosystem, and we are facilitating our potential for opportunities.
What about me brings us to a place where we are accounted for and therefore don’t need to be manipulative in our attempts to belong.
When we fight the need to be included in our own life design, we become deficient and liable. We fall back into old childish ways of striving to get what we need in order to survive. Our whole nervous system works from a chronically high stress desperation to combat the fear of exile.
Think of the people that rub you the wrong way … they are desperately asking everyone all the time “what about me?” except I would aruge that they never ask themselves. They have somewhere along the way been taught that they aren’t allowed to take care of themselves, that if they are worthy, someone else will.
This is annoying because they are stealing.
And … we all do it.
When we get deficient, tired, feel left out, too busy, and depleted, we start trying to get others to answer “what about me?” instead of giving ourselves the permission to ask this of ourselves, for ourselves.
Now think of the people who are abundant, generous, supportive, ingenuitive, creative, connectable, available … they walk into a room with a cup full of what they are ready to share. These are people who are constantly asking themselves “what about me?”
What about me feels able to collaborate?
What about me is excited about the possibilities?
What about me doesn’t like this environment?
What about me loves this idea?
What about me is ready to contribute to this project?
What about me is eager to share my wealth?
What about me is needing to pull back?
What about me is ready to protect my assets?
What about me is proud of how I’m handling this?
What about me needs to learn more about how I can do this better?
What about me wants deeper understanding?
Again, this goes back to being self centered or selfish.
When we ask ourselves “What about me?” are we looking to sustain or steal?
Some journal prompts to help you integrate these concepts into being more self centered
When you start to feel the longing, the exclusion, the uncertainty of how or where you fit in,
go ahead and ask yourself “What About Me?”
But when you do, ask with the intentions of
What about me feels left out right now and how can I suppliment that?
What about me thinks I am being disrespected, shamed, blamed … and how can I advocate for myself?
What about me doesn’t fit here?
What about me loves this and wants to make sure I can contribute abundantly?
What about me is curious about how this works and all of the new understandings I can’t see yet?
Take advantage of my free coaching correspondence and share your thoughts with me on how this sits for you.